Let me explain the scenario – I got her diamond earrings, but I put the box in her stocking. I’d like to get a gift for her to open that would be dumb enough that she’d be pretty disappointed, but not dumb enough that she’d know it couldn’t be her real gift. Then she’d find the earrings when she empties her stocking. I was thinking of doing something that would be borderline offensive (weight loss DVD, or like… an iron or something haha)
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Go to the carpentry section of a hardware store and buy her a “Stud Finder”.
how about a copy of the Kama Sutra! or a rampant rabbit! tea towels and an apron? slippers or pyjamas?
A troll mentioned giving Feminine Products the other day!
Like Pads or Tampons!
d*ck in a box
tickets to a football match for you and her
A gag gift? Think a little “harder” and you’ll come up with a magnificent gift that’s perfect as a gag for a new wife.
Or, you could try something like Justin Bieber or Weird Al tickets.
Keeping up with the kardashians final season! oh wait, you don’t wanna waste $$ on those hoebags.
Justin Bieber’s christmas CD album!! play the song *under the mistletoe* while she opens it.
btw- that song ain’t too bad and I’m not ashamed to admit it lol
Under the bed restraints!
On second thought…ditch the diamonds and just give her the restraints. Diamonds are so passé.
Do something a little ironic, make up a charitable donation certificate to the families of diamond miners who live in poverty in her name. Something with some sort of loose connection to diamonds? Maybe a really cheap plastic ring from a cracker jack box as the main gift, she’ll be disappointed, then happy when she opens the real one. Or make some earrings from chicken bones (I saw an artist do this with KFC bones) and give those to her.
a book, of how to do somethign that she normally does.
china shrink cream (lovers lane has it) it’s to help a women tighten up if you know what i mean.
hahah find some dead flowers and wrap them up (tell her they were fresh when you bought them but had to wait for the right timing) (double meaning i think so)
coal
a bunch of home made gifts. a new ashtray or cup
or fake diamond earrings. (carefule she might like those better)
or do a trick..
get the real ones and fake ones and make her pick what ones she likes best.. don’t tell her what one is real or fake…
haha see if she can find the true diamond. (might save you some cash in the future)
i riding crop.
a french maid outfit.
a cheerleading out fit.